JET Program Culture Shock Part 3: Coping with Culture Shock in Japan

posted by  banzaitokyo | 8 years, 5 months ago

The last two articles, defining culture shock and preparing for culture shock, were leading up to this. Dealing with culture shock while you’re shocked is the most important piece of the puzzle. There are lots of ideas on what to do when culture shock stares you in the face. Below are 10 ways to cope with culture shock, and 4 ways that may seem like a good idea, but actually hurt more than help. Even further below are links to some of the best resources, helps, and ideas I’ve found so far.

How to Cope

Once you’ve recognized your shock-ed-ness, it’s time to take action. With a little work and patience, you’ll be back on your emotional feet and loving life in Japan the way you wanted to.

1. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid: More than likely, the culture shock feelings you’re experiencing may not be entirely wrong. The problem is that culture shock blows up those feelings exponentially and then spreads them over your perception of all of Japanese culture. For example your frustration at using a fax machine in the internet age may be entirely valid. But then the valid feeling becomes anger which turns into “This whole damn country is backwards!” These feelings spread farther to “Giving omiyage is so useless and stupid. This whole damn country is backwards!” Eventually everything you encounter becomes stupid, useless, backwards, illogical, and just plain wrong. And that’s where you become miserable. Take some time to write down all your grievances, no matter how angry or outlandish they may be. Get them down on paper. Recognize that they are your personal feelings and you are entitled to your opinion, no matter what it is. Then put them away. Put those feeling away in a box or drawer and forget about them. You’ve recognized that you’re in stage 2 and you’re not yourself. So put these feelings aside until you’re past this stage. You’re not dismissing your ideas, you’re just putting them aside because they’re getting in the way of your enjoyment of life. This is saying, “I’m not going to let my ideas of how Japan should work get in the way of enjoying the way Japan is.” After you’re past stage 2, come back to the list. Over time you may find that some of these ideas are not the way you truly feel about Japan. Some ideas will remain, though you won’t feel irrationally angry about them. You may end up feeling that the group mentality does have some positive effects, while you may still think using a fax machine in the 21st century is silly. But no matter what your opinion on Japan ends up being, you’ll be able to accept the country for what it is and enjoy your life.
2. Join a club: Join a group activity at your school or in your community that involves Japanese people. When Japan’s cultural differences are bugging you, it may seem counterintuitive to join activities with Japanese people, which is exactly why you should do it. You may not fully understand the Japanese way of thinking or doing things, but being in fun, non-work situations with Japanese people will help you to start enjoying the company of individuals who are part of the culture that’s grating on you. Over time, it becomes easier to understand the Japanese way of doing things because you’ll have friends to connect that mindset with. You start to connect Japan with people you care about, rather than ideas or concepts you think about.
3. Volunteer: This has the same benefits as joining a club or activity. But it has extra efficacy because you’re serving and helping others. Also, it refocuses your attention on people who need help, and gets you outside of your head and the negativity bouncing around in there.
4. Differentiate between a cultural issue and an individual behaving badly: When deep in culture shock, it’s easy to take the behavior of one (or a few) jerks and assign it to the entire Japanese population. When a disgruntled salaryman elbows you on the train and tells you to go back to ??, it’s easy to think, “Stupid Japan. Everybody here hates foreigners.” Pay special attention when you find yourself thinking these things. Is it really a Japan problem, or is it just that person?
5. Remind yourself that you moved to Japan for the differences: If you wanted the same life you had, you would have stayed in your home country. But you wanted adventure and something different. True, some of that differentness is not always good or easy to deal with. Some parts of the adventure are sucky. But trudging through the sucky parts will eventually lead you to the treasure you set out for.
6. Journal and Blog: Take some time to write down your thoughts in a journal and a blog. Notice I said “and,” not “or.” I suggest doing both, one for your thoughts for other people and one for personal thoughts. First use your journal to get out all your personal, angry, hurt, sad, or whatever feelings. Once you’ve done that, blog the ones you feel like sharing. This lets you do a lot of emotional parsing and keeps you from sharing things you’ll regret saying later.
7. Take some alone time (but not isolation time): For all the getting involved that is good for you, it’s important to take time for yourself. Sometimes culture shock can be worsened by overwork and over socializing. So be sure to politely decline some events or invitations if you really need to recharge your batteries. The caution here is that you don’t let alone time become a period of isolation. People in difficult emotional states tend to isolate themselves and turn inward, which makes their situation worse. Make sure to reconnect with friends, family, and co-workers after your pre-determined recharge time.
8. Focus on the similarities: Japan’s differences are all up in your face and irritating you. So try to look past them and focus on what makes you and Japan similar. What values do you share? What beliefs?
9. Read about Japan online: This may be hard to do when you’ve got Japan overload, but read as much as you can. Not only is reading good for you, reading about news in your new nation can help you feel more aware of your surroundings and more connected with your new life.
10. You are not your brain: Dr. Rebecca Gladding and Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz remind us that our brain is not us. It’s an organ that keeps us alive and tells us to do things, usually based on survival. This is great in the wild, but not so great in society where we have to be in relationships with other humans. This means you’ve got hope in the midst of culture shock. The emotional and psychological ups and downs can be controlled and limited. This isn’t accomplished easily, of course. But it can be accomplished. Your brain may order you in different directions, but you don’t have to do everything it tells you.

How Not to Cope

While enacting coping strategies, there are a few things to avoid, some that may even seem like they’re helping at first.

1. Don’t rush yourself: As mentioned in number 3 of this list, you have a lot of things to adjust to: new job, new people, new language (probably), new mindset, new living conditions, new weather, and the list goes on. Part of the reason culture shock happens is because the adjustment time usually outlasts the novelty of a new environment. So be patient with the shock. Do your best to cope but know it might take a while to even out.
2. Facebook: Social media touts itself as a revolution in human communication. And it can be sometimes. But scrolling through friends’ news feeds while culture shocked is like feeding your homesickness. When you’re feeling down about your life in Japan, don’t consume (overblown) images and stories of friends in your home country doing swimmingly. Instead, opt for Facebook messages or tweets directly to a friend or loved one. Use social media for helpful communication rather than one-way intake of other peoples’ life snippets.
3. Don’t isolate yourself: This was mentioned above, but it bears repeating. Don’t isolate yourself. It doesn’t take scientific research to know that isolation is bad for mental health, but here’s some anyway: scientific research.
4. Don’t complain about Japan in groups: As Verity explains in her article on culture shock, it’s best to avoid what she calls “stage 2 parties.” This is where a group of foreigners get together to gripe about Japan, which usually validates extreme ideas in their minds and makes their culture shock worse. Make no mistake, it’s fine to let off steam. In fact, a bit of “I know, right!” with friends can be very helpful during stage 2. But try to be conscious of when this party has gone on too long, is not constructive, or is destructive. The goal of letting off steam is to let feelings go, not pile them on and weigh you down even more.

What to Do If Culture Shock Becomes Overwhelming

If you feel the effects of your culture shock are too tough to handle on your own and you’re experiencing symptoms beyond your control, please reach out to someone. There are large networks of people who help JETs with all kinds of problems, culture shock included.

• The AJET Peer Support Group: This is a group of individuals that work between 8pm and 7am, Japan time. They are trained to help JETs all over the country with all kinds of problems and offer counsel. Find out more information at the AJET PSG website, or give them a call at 050-5534-5566 or on Skype at AJETPSG.
• Tokyo English Life Line: TELL is a non-profit in Tokyo that offers various types of counseling and support to English speakers in Japan. Check out their website or call them at 03-5774-0992.
• Your Prefectural Advisor: Though their powers are now more limited than they used to be, your PA is still there for you. This is exactly the kind of thing they are meant to handle. Contact them any time you need help, especially in an emergency.

Resources for Coping with Culture Shock in Japan

Below are a list of resources I came across while researching this article series. Refer to them for extra information on understanding and dealing with culture shock. The official JET General Information Handbook had some of the most enlightening and helpful information on the subject. Also, an article called “The Values Americans Live By” by L. Robert Kohls was similarly enlightening, especially his list of American values set side-by-side with those of a more traditional country. Check that one out, even if you’re not American.

• JET Program General Information Handbook
• The Values Americans Live By
• AJET Counseling
• Surviving in Japan: Finding Help
• Surviving in Japan: The Low Point of Culture Shock
• International Mental Health Professionals in Japan
• 3 Lists of American Values

The Jewel and the Light

Overcoming culture shock is a tough subject because it’s different for everyone. It can be mild or severe and how or when it takes effect depends on the individual. But no matter who you are, I hope this series helps at least in a small way.

Personally, I dodged some parts of culture shock, but other parts hit me hard. I handled some things well, but others I didn’t, which kept me shocked longer than I needed to be. In the end though, I learned a lot about myself and Japan.

I’ll end this series with a quote from an excellent resource for JETs, KumamotoJET:

We are like a jewel, and culture is like the light. When light comes from a different source or angle, the jewel looks different. Sometimes just a little change makes the jewel shine, and other times it makes it look dull and unimpressive. It’s not the jewel’s or the light’s fault, it’s the result of the interaction. It’s not Japan’s fault, it’s not your fault. It’s the result of the interaction between the two.

Bonus Wallpapers!

[Desktop ? 5120×2880 / 1280×720] ? [Mobile]

Sources:

• GunmaJET


• Surviving in Japan


• Virginia Tech


• Seattle Central College


• Psychology Today


• Jet-Programme.com


• Wikipedia


• KumamotoJET


• Global Ed Programs

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